Thursday, January 7, 2010

I'm struggling with a tough decision, the age old question, "Should I stay or should I go?" I hate coming home. I get angry and grumpy when i go home. Why? Could it be cuz my house is a wreak? My daughter is sassy? The laundry is piling up? The trash everywhere because my husband won't take it out? Or is it just the husband? I like my husband, or at least i keep telling myself that i do. I don't love him. I feel like if i leave him, i would be abandoning a child, that is helpless and needs me. I recently realized that I'm not a kid anymore, don't care what others think and need to realize that my happiness is the only one that's gonna get me through this life of mine. Going around trying to make others happy only sucks the life out of you, and of course, I'm over that. I've been listening to a mediation CD and it talks about the present, love, happiness, angry, all that, that existed in the past is just a memory and all that is planned for the future is a fantasy. Only love and happiness can exist in the present. It was kinda hard to wrap my head around but i do get it. Do you?


Elisabeth Delynn said...

Just want to comment on the "abandoning your child" thing. My parents have stayed together for this very reason only. They have not slept in the same room for 14 years. Trust me when I say that the child may go through a rough spot when you first tell him/her that mom and dad are breaking up...but in the long run I believe that it is better for the truth, than to live a lie (as it were). When you are making this decision look at it as if you did not have a child...and then once you have made the right decision for yourself you will be able to help the child "cope" with that decision.

I hope that what I am trying to say is coming across. :) Ask me a question if you need clarification.

Will be praying that you have the strength to do the right thing, and that He shows you what exactly that is.

Lovebug6100 said...

Thanks for stopping by on my blog...I am sorry to hear that you're stuggling personally with some significant family decisions. Before you make a final decision about your family, I would recommend really changing things, the things that you have control over. Really clean your home from top to bottom and find a system that works for keeping that way and really taking the steps it takes to change yourself so that you're happy...then re-evaluate...and if it's not a good family dynamic, know that you're in a better place and did all you could!!! Please keep visiting!

TBC said...

Can you support yourself financially? If yes, then go.

Grab you daughter and tell her: "Look! You're a sassy little shit and you take me for granted but I love you. I can't live like this anymore, so I'm leaving. You're old enough to decide who you want to live with. You can stay here with your father but the two of you will have to pick up after yourselves without me around. You will always have a place to stay with me, but you can't stay with me if you don't pull your weight. That means your fair share of chores and I don't put up with other people's bullshit anymore, including yours! See you later."