Thursday, January 7, 2010
I'm struggling with a tough decision, the age old question, "Should I stay or should I go?" I hate coming home. I get angry and grumpy when i go home. Why? Could it be cuz my house is a wreak? My daughter is sassy? The laundry is piling up? The trash everywhere because my husband won't take it out? Or is it just the husband? I like my husband, or at least i keep telling myself that i do. I don't love him. I feel like if i leave him, i would be abandoning a child, that is helpless and needs me. I recently realized that I'm not a kid anymore, don't care what others think and need to realize that my happiness is the only one that's gonna get me through this life of mine. Going around trying to make others happy only sucks the life out of you, and of course, I'm over that. I've been listening to a mediation CD and it talks about the present, love, happiness, angry, all that, that existed in the past is just a memory and all that is planned for the future is a fantasy. Only love and happiness can exist in the present. It was kinda hard to wrap my head around but i do get it. Do you?